May 26, 2010 § 4 Comments
I joke. Niggers and bicycles confounded me today. I had the pleasure of running downtown to the county clerk again to load another gun on the permit. Seeing as it was shooting up into the 90s, the niggers were all out swaggering, bobbing and weaving and of course, riding they bikes. Bikes sporting niggers everywhere. I was talking to myself in the car, “What the fuck is with all the niggers and bicycles?” I remember the days when the mercury was spilling up toward three digits, niggers couldn’t get off their porches. I’d drive down First Street and see nothing but dripping wet niggers hanging on their stoops holding baby niggers and drinking from coolers. Wiping they haeds wif they tee shirts an shit. Today it was nigger after stinking sweating nigger peddling a stingray bike into traffic begging for me to toss one over my roof. I was dumbfounded…why are niggers wasting so much energy to get nowhere? I mean, where do niggers go on bicycles at 3 pm on a weekday? Certainly not work or school. I suppose at that hour, they’ve just rolled out of bed so they are pumped, but sheeeeit man, where do a nigger got to go? And why he need a bike?
When I got to the clerk’s office and parked, they were hanging all over a garbage can on the corner with their bikes. Hats sideways, underpants hanging out, braided wool hanging out from bandannas. I thought to myself “Why God? Why have you done this to us? Why do I have to look at this shit and understand it? Why? What is this all about? What does it all mean? Why does humanity have to suffer with these creatures? Was it Eve? Was all of this Eve’s fault for eating the fucking apple? Did you send niggers because Eve couldn’t follow a simple fucking rule? Because if that’s all it was, how can we ever hope to be rid of them? She can’t uneat the apple. So what can we do God? ” Niggers bring out the religion in me sometimes. There just seems to be no other place to turn for answers. Then I see them on bikes and I just shit. What the hell are niggers doing on bikes? It just seems like something you should only see at the circus…monkeys riding little bikes in circles! What the fuck is wrong with this world? Even with my vast knowledge of the nature of niggers, I just can’t accept niggers on bicycles. It just ain’t natural.