In Recognition Of African American History Mumph I Present This Here

February 17, 2007 § 4 Comments

Homless street native Clarence developed a system to aid in the personal cleaning of his anal area following bowel evacuation.  Having lived in the street since his traumatic break up with a white woman, Clarence has found that he was rarely near any source of paper products when the urge to move his bowels would arise.  To combat this situation of hygiene  challenge, Clarence created the automatic ass wipe.  Patent #320-43-0009C has been logged with the US Patent office crediting Clarence with this ingenius invention.

asswipe.jpg 

As per the instructions, one must eat several sheets off of a roll of Bounty Paper Towels (the quicka picka uppa) prior to bowel movement, or when it is most convenient.  During evacuation, the embedded Bounty is absorbing twice as much of the waste as a leading brand and leaving the ass sparkling clean.  After use, it can also support a diner type coffee cup and saucer without splitting, like other brands.  Clarence has since received several awards for his invention and will be featured in an African American Moment series being run by the television networks to promote Black History Month.  Above is a photograph of Clarence’s creation in action…Celebrate diversity.  Celebrate Black history month.  This was a public service message from your local stations.

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