What a fucken geek I am

May 23, 2006 § 4 Comments

I'm the douche bag I used to make fun of back when I was cool. Now with age comes geekness and with a difficult marriage comes welcomed solitude. I always get a feeling of accomplishment when I successfully endeavor to create some sort of computer component by myself. I was virtually helpless when I began fooling with a 486 my father in law put together for us when I was first married. I figured out the basics…get on the internet and fuck around with search engines. First thing I found was a web site that detailed how to prepare a human corpse for consumption. That might be a clue of the kind of shit I was punching into the search box. Anyway, I am four computers past those early days and way farther ahead in search criteria. Today I got this external HD enclosure I ordered from cyberguys, but not just a HD enclosure. It also houses a CD/DVD drive, a 2.0 USB hub and a multi format media card reader. Not that I needed more space or an extra CD writer, but I do have an old AMD 350mhz Win98 piece of useless crap beckoning to be recycled and it seemed a shame to just junk perfectly good components. I'm the type who will usually just give shit away to clear more space in my junk pile but this time I got practical. So I put the thing together in my kitchen because I didn't want to lug it all upstairs until I was sure it would work. As with most things like this, my first tries don't usually go well. Well I'm proud to report to those of you who could give a shit the thing went together and functioned as it was meant to function after the first try. So I'm happy with myself. And just so as not to disappoint my loyal readers who expect some sort of reference to niggers and why they are usually somehow responsible for any malfunctions, must be the niggers were asleep while I was building this thing…which reminds me of a little scenario I once came up with to explain to a young boy (my brother's girlfriend's 11 year old son) how technology came to be on such things as dish washers, frost free refrigerators and gas stoves that lit without a pilot flame. Little tiny niggers working in chains inside the freezer…working in the dark constantly chipping ice from the freezer walls, hundreds of tiny niggers in bathing trunks with brushes and hoses washing baked on food from our pots and pans, or hiding in the back of the stove with those long butane lighters ready to ignite a burner as soon as it is turned on. See kid, we never really freed the slaves, we just shrunk them. The ones who wouldn't shrink went on welfare or sold drugs on the streets. The kid was mesmerized. He drew a picture of his interpretation of frost free freezer technology for his art class and was sent home. I'm such a great influence on kids. Too bad I never had any of my own huh? I would home school the hell out of the little bastards.

§ 4 Responses to What a fucken geek I am

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